NECESSITY OF FACING YOUR FEARS TO PROGRESS IN LIFE

We are all familiar with “fear” because there have been many moments in our life when we have been fearful i.e.; starting a new job, undertaking a dangerous activity, learning something new, taking a decision, talking about ourselves or facing challenging times.

A fearful mental state prevents us from knowing and expressing our actual strengths and abilities; however, it is only by going beyond our fears that we will be able to fully utilize our inherent potential. Most people get disturbed by fear, so much so, that they quit and change their decisions and direction they had originally planned. On the other hand, there are some who befriend their fears, go beyond them and become successful.

Fear is a natural state of our minds, for example; we get accustomed to a certain type of environment, way of doing and thinking and if we then have to do something new or different we are fearful. In other words, “we are in fear, meaning, we are about to engage in some new, unfamiliar activity”. This is a part of all our lives, but if we have learned to correctly manage our fears we will be in a position to understand and utilize our strengths and abilities.

“Facing our Fears is the Only Solution”

The following methods are very effective in helping us do so:-

TALK TO YOUR FEARS: In a state of fear we think in particular mental patterns, however, if we are to overcome our fear, or reduce it, the most effective way is to start talking to your fears. Question your fear and ask why am I thinking the way I am, what is the reason for my being fearful and what will be the results of my actions or work that I am doing.

This type of self-talk and questioning will bring about spontaneity in your life.

THINK LESS – DO MORE: A fearful mind is a state that strikes before a new project or work is started. The more we think about it the more it increases.  However, once you have taken a decision and planned activities, start taking action immediately and you will find your thoughts slowly moving in a new direction and your mind will be occupied and centered on the work at hand.

VISUALISE THE SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF YOUR TASK: Before you start any task that you are fearful of, bring your creative imagination into play, close your eyes and visualize and feel that your task has been accomplished with great success.  When we practice this repeatedly, we send a message to our subconscious mind that we have successfully completed the task and our mind slowly propels us with positive energy.

This technique works in all situations in our lives and our mind is guided towards a direction of successful completion of the task.

DON’T STOP – KEEP GOING: Sometimes fear takes hold of us when we are engaged in activities where results are not being achieved. Under these circumstances, we give up, but we must remember that the moment we give up, fear will again take hold and dominate our thoughts and mind, and therefore we must continue with our efforts. If necessary change the methods you are employing, find new options or take help, but don’t give up.

Fears are the stepping stones in our lives. As we overcome fears, we’ll overcome the challenges and lead a successful life.

SIX WAYS TO CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE

Life should be a celebration. Everyone wants to live, but no one is living. These words might sound strange to you, but they are so true, – I will repeat it – everyone wants to live, but no one is living. In modern times, to live life to the fullest feels like a dream, because we are running away from a few critical habits which are life-affirming.  These may be small things, but they are the life force of our life. When we adopt these habits we can truly celebrate our life.

The first of these life-affirming habits is to have a purpose in life. Set a purpose for your life, something that inspires you to live a full life. This has to be your own purpose and not borrowed from others; something that inspires you to take action. This is as important as the life force in your body.

The second is to have a spirit of taking on challenges to know yourself.  These challenges help us to understand our abilities and strengths. These are just as important as climbing trees in our childhood without a care in the world, or without any fear of hurting ourselves. As we grow we need to find new challenges, they may not come our way on their own.  We need to make the efforts to take on challenges in life and keep growing.

The Third, appreciate wholeheartedly, both yourself and others. To maintain a happy, inspired state of mind it is important to be appreciative. Reach out to others and appreciate and praise them for what they do.  Of course, this appreciation should be genuine. This will be a source of inspiration for them to do more and at the same time, it will inspire you also to take action. Many opportunities to appreciate others present themselves in our life daily.

Fourth, accept the uncertainty inherent in life completely. When we start a new project, there is an element of uncertainty. So why not enjoy the process? Instead of being fearful, why not have the attitude of, “Let’s see what happens, because whatever happens there will be learning in it for me”.

The fifth aspect that helps us to celebrate life is to live now, live today to the fullest. Life is happening today. Today is the most beautiful day.  When today finishes, it will be reduced to a memory, it will become yesterday. We can only live today. Plan for the future, but do not get so immersed and lost in planning that you forget to live today.  In the end, you should be able to say that you lived a full life every moment, every day. No award, no success can replace a life lived to the fullest.

The sixth aspect is to revel in each step you take towards your goals.  Each small step you take makes history. Nothing big can be achieved in a day.  You must continue to make an effort until you see your goal coming to fruition. This attitude is applicable to all aspects of life.  Soon, in a few months, maybe a year you will find that you have completed a long journey and you have accomplished a lot.

Life a is a celebration and instead of dwelling in its sorrows one should learn and practice to enjoy and celebrate this journey.

DISCOVER UNLIMITED POTENTIAL – CHALLENGE YOURSELF

If you really want to understand your own potential, then stop asking other people about yourself, because they can only tell you what they know about you. It is important to pay attention to one very important fact and ask yourself if people really have the time or the inclination to understand another person completely and in totality.

Friends, family, and people around us can only tell us what they have seen. But if you want to meet your authentic self who is always learning, keeps making efforts, always remain positive in all situations and people praise his leadership abilities, then get ready:-

Be available to talk with yourself: Your best friend? You are your best friend. Talk to yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, give yourself feedback and start working on them.  You can do this activity daily or weekly. And the more you will do it the more you will understand yourself.

Start giving yourself challenges: If everything in life is easy and life is moving ahead smoothly, then your life has reached a danger mark, showing you that you are living a mediocre life and not utilizing all your capacities and abilities. Before people or the changing times challenge the status quo and you lose yourself in the crowd; you should challenge yourself to learn new skills, do new things and take risks. You will definitely make your life better and stay in tune with the times.

Learn to laugh at yourself: The fear of being unsuccessful and being ridiculed by people keeps us from attempting many things in life. But what if we start to laugh at ourselves? People might say, “He has gone mad”, “he is a fool”. Let people say whatever they will, but if you have learned to laugh at yourself then no power in the world can stop you from succeeding and remaining happy. Therefore laugh at your failures, at your successes, at your mistakes and get acquainted with that aspect of yourself that only wants to move ahead and be successful.

In this Life, you are your only competition and achieving excellence can only be accomplished, when you challenge yourself to become a better version of yourself.

IMPORTANCE OF MISTAKES IN LIFE

“Our mistakes can play an important role in effecting a change in our life if we do not ignore them.”

Just imagine; we are undertaking a very important task and we have prepared diligently, worked very hard, tried to give our best and we have great hope that the end result will be very good. And now the time has arrived to see the result – but what happened?? Exactly the opposite of what we had hoped for, there was a mistake in our planning and the result was that this important task could not be completed as we had thought.

We were labeled as having made a mistake and all our hopes were dashed to the ground. On a mental level, we feel broken and a failure. No matter what people say or what we face due to this on the outside, our inner resolve takes a beating and the reality is that having made a mistake most people will hesitate to take any big step henceforth. From here, starts the journey of not taking any risks, which remains with us all through our life. What is more, these people then advise others also not to take any risks in life.  Our life story also revolves around similar experiences and we are taught from childhood not to make mistakes, save yourself from making mistakes, pay attention while working otherwise you will make a mistake, what if things go wrong? And if we did make a mistake we were told not to make a mistake again.  Our attention was always on not making a mistake and due to this our full potential was never utilized or you can say, anything we did was done with the fear that no mistake should be made.

If this mental attitude is turned upside down and we work on the following three guidelines our attitude towards making mistakes will change completely.

  1. Give importance to learning from mistakes rather than fear mistakes.
    • If things go right I will learn what works and if things do not work I will learn what does not work, but in both cases, I will learn.
    • I will keep moving forward whether a mistake is made or not and will not let my plans stagnate.
    • When I undertake a task I know the possibility is there for it to go either way, right or wrong.
    • For me, the meaning of mistakes is – Learning.
  2. Do not hesitate to talk about mistakes. We always hide our mistakes and that is why the fear always remains with us. When we start sharing these, they become interesting experiences and our self-confidence increases, hesitation and anxiety will be replaced by openness and an attitude of fearlessness and patience will emerge. When you share your experiences others will also learn from you and slowly but surely you will start to be self-motivated. But it is important to keep in mind to share your mistakes only with people who will encourage you and motivate you; not people who are negative.
  3. There should always be new mistakes. If we are making new mistakes every time it means we are moving ahead in experience, learning new methods, becoming courageous and we are moving away from the crowd who stop taking action once a mistake has been made. Now whether a mistake has been made in a career, relationship, business or a new venture; it is established that we have gained an experience which is priceless. This experience becomes an indicator that we are moving ahead and are continuing to take action. And yes, it is important to make new mistakes so we do not get bored and we keep learning new things.

The sign of making new mistakes is the sign that you are learning and you are growing from these new experiences.

CAREER SELECTION

HOW TO CHOOSE A CAREER ALIGNED WITH YOU

Career selection is an extremely important decision that needs to be taken with great wisdom and understanding. We take this decision ourselves and for ourselves. This is the first step that will ensure that your energy, focus and inspiration move in the correct direction. It is an important decision for every student.  However, while taking this decision, 92 percent of students make mistakes and consequently suffer either for their whole life or many years.

I am listing out some of these mistakes:-

  • The first mistake we make is to choose a career option in which we have achieved high marks academically.
  • The second mistake we make is to choose a career option based on a discussion with our family and their inputs.
  • Thirdly making a choice based on being motivated by advice given by friends.
  • Taking a decision based on being enamored by the scope offered by a particular career.
  • Or taking a decision based on the security provided by a particular field.
  • Or being influenced by attractive marketing strategies of various Organisations, Institutes, and Universities.

These are some of the mistakes we often make while selecting a career. If we are employing any of the above reasons, then the time has come to change this methodology.

There are three steps that we need to take while selecting a carrier:-

  • Self-assessment is the first step.  Spend some time alone with yourself for a few days. Write down your strengths and weaknesses.  List out all your accomplishments. Write down activities that you enjoy doing. What contributes to your unique individuality? In which areas, programmes or sports have you excelled?  Which personalities or professions inspire you? After going through this process you will gain clarity about yourself.
  • Secondly, define the Career Field.  From the above self-assessment will emerge the understanding of your strengths and abilities and what gives you joy. Keeping this in mind we need to dovetail a choice of career. We can start to define a career field.  
  • We can use the 3C approach:-
    1. The first C is Clarity– You must get clarity on all aspects of your choice of career. Do the research and get information from some good websites on Google/Internet.
    2. Second C is Be Convinced – You must be convinced of your choice of career. Your conviction in your decision is most important; other people’s opinions are secondary.
    3. Third C is communication – Once you have come to a conclusion on a career aligned with your strengths and abilities, you must start communicating with people connected in that field to gain an understanding of their experience and write them down.  This will give you a strong indication. Now you are ready to decide on the best choice of a career for yourself. However, if you are still not totally satisfied with a career option, then take the third step.
  • Thirdly take the help of a Career Counsellor.  Eighty percent of the work will be completed once you have gone through the above two processes. Next, take the help of an expert career counselor. He will coach you through asking relevant questions and be able to guide you in taking a decision.  One thing to keep in mind while taking a decision is the importance of remaining professional in your approach and not get influenced. Base your decision on facts, where the counselor is a guide to help you arrive at the correct decision. When we go to the market to purchase an item we ask a million questions, see the price points, brand, pros, and cons, etc before purchasing. The same critical analysis is also required when we make this important decision in our life.  In the selection of a career, you cannot depend on another person’s decision. Be involved, take the help of an expert and make an informed decision.

The above three steps will guide you in taking the best possible decision in choosing the right career for yourself.